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Jackie Biggs

CFAC Creative Works Contest
2024 Winners

Photo by @Ada Gjoligu | CFAC External Relations

Jackie Biggs | Essay

1st Place

Music | Piano Performance

Jackie Briggs is studying piano performance musicology in the BYU graduate program. In her free time she enjoys gardening.

"My performance at Carnegie Hall in June 2024, however, represented much more to me personally. It was the substance and testimony of God’s grace to His children in their trials."

By Jackie Biggs

It goes without saying that Carnegie Hall is renowned throughout the world as a preeminent concert venue. For musicians, a debut here represents a crowning achievement that can be the catalyst for jump-starting a successful career. My performance at Carnegie Hall in June 2024, however, represented much more to me personally. It was the substance and testimony of God’s grace to His children in their trials.

Jackie performing at Carnegie Hall
Photo by American Protégé

For many of us, 2020 was a year of challenges, and this was true for me as well. Not long after recovering from COVID-19, I began experiencing widespread muscle tension and pain, particularly in the hands and feet. This was troubling to me as a professional collaborative pianist because my performances depended on my having healthy hands. I was subsequently diagnosed with autoimmune connective tissue disease, one of many post-COVID ailments currently becoming recognized by the medical community. The swelling and joint weakness in my hands became severe enough that for a time, I couldn’t even lift a glass or turn a doorknob, much less play the piano. An intensive round of physical therapy enabled me to return to most of my former activities, but I doubted if I could ever play the piano at a professional level again.

Over the next two years, I attempted several small-scale projects yet saw little to no improvement in the condition of my hands. What was my amazement when in May 2022 I felt a strong spiritual impression to apply for graduate school—in piano performance. This seemed like an almost impossible task, since I still couldn’t play wide stretches or loud passages at the piano without debilitating pain. Summoning all my faith, I resolved to make the attempt.

Finding balance in practicing without overworking my hands proved to be an uphill battle. At this time, I was blessed with the opportunity to take lessons from Dr. Irene Peery- Fox, an outstanding musician who was professor of piano for many years at BYU. She encouraged me to follow a strict practice regimen that involved gradually increasing my practice time by only ten minutes each week. She also provided exercises that greatly improved my joint stability. In addition, a new physical therapist, Doug Bagley, recommended experimenting with wearing kinesio tape for added support. With the help of my new friends and with painstaking effort, I began to slowly, slowly increase in my strength and ability.

Figure 1: Original score by Juraj Filas of the piece, Sonata “Amorosa"

My dream was to perform Sonata “Amorosa” by Slovak composer Juraj Filas. Its wild sense of struggle seemed to perfectly embody my fight to recover my art. Although the piece is unpublished, at my request Juraj graciously mailed a copy of his manuscript to me (Figure 1). While its technical demands far surpassed my ability at the time, little by little, I began to learn the piece.

By the time my audition rolled around, I was beginning to play the piano without needing to wear the kinesio tape, and a few months later, I leaped full throttle into the master’s program at BYU. Tragically, by this time Juraj had passed away from COVID-19. He was quoted as saying, “I must die that my music may live.” I was determined to bring his sonata to life in performance.

Under the masterful coaching of Dr. Scott Holden, I refined my technique and elevated my artistic interpretations to the point where I could actually, finally, play Juraj’s sonata. At Dr. Holden’s encouragement, I entered the American Protégé International Piano and Strings Competition, and was delighted to be awarded first prize, resulting in the invitation to perform at Carnegie Hall.

At this point, I reached out to Marta Kotyza, president of the Harmony Foundation (an organization that has historically promoted Juraj’s music) to let her know about the concert. She generously invited me to stay at her home during the trip, as she and her family had been close friends of Juraj. During my stay there, Marta shared many stories with me about Juraj’s life and music, helping to enhance my interpretation of the sonata.

First Prize in the American Protégé International Piano and Strings Competition

At last, the day of the concert arrived, and I ascended the stage at Carnegie Hall. Under the brilliant lights, I played Juraj’s sonata with everything I had. The piece opens with a defiant cry, encompassing nearly every register of the piano. Juraj had used an almost identical melody in the Kyrie of his Requiem, dedicated to the victims of terrorism. In my heart, I included a personal dedication to all the victims of the terrible pandemic we had experienced. The lightning scales, racing octaves, and triumphant finish concluded what may have been the first performance of this piece at Carnegie Hall, and the audience responded with enthusiastic applause. It was a performance to be proud of, but more importantly, it was Juraj’s music: music of the finest quality, music that speaks to a modern world.

To this day, I continue to experience persistent symptoms of connective tissue disease, and while the future is uncertain, I do know one thing. It’s thanks to God that I have been blessed with the ability to play the piano again. The opportunity to share Juraj’s music at Carnegie Hall was a gift I’ll treasure for my entire life.